Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Driving Wisdom: Subtle Movements

i don’t know if anyone else had ideas and beliefs about driving before they were too young to understand what was really happening, but i definitely had a few that stand out.  when i was really young i thought that the road was a magic track of sorts and that the person driving was only really there to stop and start the car, not steer it, or anything else for that matter.  (obviously i was too young to know about all of the times that cars go off of the magic track!)
the one i found myself thinking about today came when i was getting to the age where i realized i myself would be driving soon and ought to be paying some sort of attention!  i would watch my mother’s hands, and the subtlety of their movements on the wheel, and waver back and forth wondering if such subtle movements could possibly be deliberate.  no.....i thought......she’s just twitching a little bit or something!
now that i’m a driver i know that indeed, for the most part, even the tiniest movement of hands on the wheel is due to a tremendously sensitive inner calibration, a sense of balance, of center, of the space you fill when you are inside of your vehicle, of boundaries.  i watch my own hands and am truly amazed at the sensitivity of that sense of self.  pretty incredible the power we have behind the wheel, and with such a system of machinery in place we are able to fine tune our pathway and make tremendous moves with the slightest effort.  
all we have to do is to know is where that center is, and, really, if you’re just beginning to drive (or remember that awkward bull-in-a-china-shop phase...) it’s a learn as you go process!  not something you can learn from a book.  get out there and practice! ;)  

(photo sale info in the Photography section of this page :)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Getting Back on Track (When You Can)

sometimes you can’t change what’s out there, though really i’m not sure where i stand on the matter, because if we are to declare ourselves all powerful and the manifest-ers of our destiny then shouldn’t we be able to change everything??  of course not, but where is the line?  this i can’t answer.
this was a really, truly, uncharacteristically busy week for me.  or wait.... busy two weeks?  hmmmm, can’t remember.  it’s been busy :)  i generally don’t like being busy (though i do like being honest ;), because i have a hard time committing to anything when there is a limited amount of time.  it’s the old Panic and Paralysis.  nothing feels like top priority, except for the obvious top priority, but tackling that will take up all the time and you probably won’t get done anyway and will have nothing to show for it.
i have realized, with a little help from my sweetie asking what it is that’s really “wrong” and what it is that really needs to be done so badly right this minute, that a lot of the pressure i feel is very much put on myself.  i have put systems and schedules in place for myself (such as updating my websites every’s now wednesday afternoon ;) and i can’t let myself fall behind without the Big Bad Wolf getting all up in my face.  
the Things aren’t going to go away, but you very much have control over how you see and relate to them.  there are enough deadlines we’ve agreed to from the outside world, be willing to cut yourself a little slack on the ones you’ve put on yourself!  (not too much slack, mind you....just enough to maintain somewhat of a healthy equilibrium :)  
keep making lists; keep prioritizing.  get back on track when you can, and take what you’ve learned to help you stay on track next time.  (there will always be a next time, at least when it comes to deadlines! :) 

Monday, February 13, 2012

Do Something Easy

i know i have nothing new to say on this subject, but i don’t think it has to be new.  the most subtle reminders can come to you at just the right time and your world can change.  
most people have a lot of things to do.  we just do.  it’s been a long time since i was genuinely “bored” or had “nothing to do.”  perhaps that’s a part of Growing Up, switching from too much time on one’s hands to not enough!  a lot of the time it’s not enough for work or for play.
the muscle i have begun to focus on strengthening for myself is that when i’ve got an overwhelming list of things to do (written or not, but for me written already tends to ease my mind!) i start with something small.  and we often skip the small things because they’re not as important as the big ones and therefore shouldn’t take priority, but really.....if you’re stuck, you’re stuck.  do something easy!
a little bit of momentum can go a long way!  it’s getting something done when you feel like you’re getting nothing done.  it’s encouraging, and affirms that you are indeed a person who does what they need to do!  (i often have a hard time convincing myself of that, so i can use all the help i can get! ;) 

Sunday, February 5, 2012

A New Perspective

i recently got a new camera, after having a great one for a while and then trying to replace the great one (since three years made it SO obsolete they stopped making it) with a super duper piece of crap camera that i had dreams of throwing from tall buildings or smashing to bits with heavy blunt objects.  christmas was good to me, and i am now properly equipped with a fast-action-make-everything-look-like-a-million-bucks lens through which to see the world.  
i once wrote an email to my good friend, danny schmidt, declaring excitedly that i had finally discovered my life’s purpose.  it was around the time that i decided right before going on stage that i really didn’t enjoy, at all.  i didn’t like the jitters before playing, i usually felt nervous and clumsy when i was up there, and i didn’t like the part afterwards when i couldn’t talk to anyone without feeling like i was putting them on the spot to tell me it was a great show, and then questioning the truth of the statement and trying like to hell to learn how to take a compliment.
i wrote danny to tell him that i wanted to be a photographer, or more so, that i finally realized that’s what i was.  photography is so innocent and so pure.  photography has naught to do with ego; how could it?  it’s being a witness to life’s miracles, big and small.  nothing more and nothing less, except knowing when you see one and when to click a button.  you’re not creating anything, only sharing.  that was a tremendous relief to me at the time.  it still is.
as dramatic a moment as that was, really i was just feeling shy and scared and uncertain and noticed a whole new bright light that captivated me.  and now instead of leaving the old light behind i’ve learned to see music in much the same way.  we’re really a witness to everything, even ourselves.
a new camera feels like a new skin.  my eyes and my heart are more open.  they see things in a different light.  and they’re seeing that everything is a miracle, really.  everything is amazing